Whod you bang
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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