Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize