Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
