i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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