I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I currently don't understand fingers.
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