Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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