Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
