I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
