is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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