You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
