Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
