i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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