I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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