i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
