I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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