Well douche your snatch and let's go!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
