yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
