I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
