hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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