If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize