Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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