Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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