worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize