we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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