I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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