I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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