whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
