how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
