You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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