i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
