there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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