? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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