The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize