I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My feet surprised me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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