its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
