To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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