everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize