Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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