He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
