scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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