Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
