you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
