i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
