My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize