Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
