Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
