she woke up with a sticky ear
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
then he tried to convert me to islam
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
