I skipped work to stalk him.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
