Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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