You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
