we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
