Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
