using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
