i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
