I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
