On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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