Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
