If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
