If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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