If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize