do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think i got beer on your cat.
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