Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
