On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
