Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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