yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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